CHILDREN OF DIVORCEES

CHILDREN OF DIVORCEES:

(Protection and counselling): 4.

Mdm Cynthia Phua:

Mdm Cynthia Phua asked the Minister for Community Development,

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Youth and Sports so as to protect children whose parents are divorcing (a) whether the Ministry will review the present arrangement and require that the matrimonial flat/house be sold and sale proceeds be shared by both parents; and (b) whether the Ministry will differentiate between ownership and occupation of the property by allowing the parent who has custody of the child to (i) stay in the flat/house until the child is working; or (ii) pay rental for the flat/house to the former spouse until alternative housing is available.

Mdm Cynthia Phua asked the Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports (a) how many children were affected by divorce/separation of their parents in each of the last five years and how many of these children went through counselling; (b) whether the Ministry will make it compulsory for parents to send their children for counselling before their separation and divorce are completed; and (c) whether the Ministry will conduct a survey on the impact of divorce on children, including the emotional impact, to better address the needs of these children.

The Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports (Dr Vivian Balakrishnan): Mr Speaker, can I take Question Nos. 4 and 5 together?

Mr Speaker: Yes.

Dr Vivian Balakrishnan: Sir, Mdm Cynthia Phua has asked both questions relating to the impact of divorces on children, focusing on the issues of housing and counselling. I will handle the issue of housing first.

Under the Women's Charter, the Court will decide on the division of matrimonial assets. In arriving at its decision, the Court will consider all the relevant circumstances of the divorcing couple.

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Among other things, the Court will take into account the extent of the contributions made by each party, the needs of the children and any agreement between the parties on the ownership and division of the assets.

The present arrangement provides more flexibility for the Court. Making it a requirement for the matrimonial flat or house to be sold for the proceeds to be shared by both parents may not necessarily be in the best interests of the children involved in a divorce.

In the case where the matrimonial flat is a HDB flat, only the parent who obtains legal custody of the children is considered to have formed an eligible family nucleus, and allowed to retain or take over the ownership of the HDB flat. For such cases, the HDB may grant a mortgage loan for this parent, subject to credit assessment. The CPF Board had also revised its Act in October 2007 to allow the Court to order zero or a partial refund of CPF monies to the ex-spouse, based on the merits of the case.

The Subordinate Courts and HDB have recently worked out an arrangement to provide more help to low-income households undergoing a divorce. Under this arrangement, the HDB would first assess the feasibility of the preferred housing options of the divorcing couple. With this information, the Courts will then be in a better position to make a more informed decision on the housing for the divorcing parties. This is in addition to the existing arrangements where solicitors are required to submit documents on the settlement of the matrimonial flat to the Court for its decision.

There is nothing to prevent an ex-spouse with children from staying in, continuing to stay or renting a flat that is owned by the former spouse, as Mdm Phua has suggested. However, on the

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ground, such an arrangement is unlikely to work if there has been an acrimonious divorce.

Mdm Phua had also asked for statistics on children affected by divorce and the counselling requirements for these children. Between 2005 and 2009, an average of 6,025 divorces was filed every year in the Family Court and 1,780 at the Syariah Court. About half of the Family Court's and 70% of the Syariah Court's cases involved families with children below the age of 21.

Yearly, the average number of children below the age of 21 who are affected by the divorces of their parents, therefore, amounts to about 4,700 and 2,600 for marriages under Women's Charter and the Administration of Muslim Law Act respectively.

At different stages of the divorce process, the Family Court will assess the need for children to undergo counselling. At the onset of divorce proceedings, children may be referred for counselling during the Pre-Trial Conference if custody is likely to be disputed. At the hearing, if the Court assesses that the children require support counselling; it may refer them to the counsellors at the Counselling and Psychological Services of the Family Court or relevant community resources. Where necessary, the Family Court may also order the parties and the children to attend parenting workshops or to order that access and transfer of children be done under the supervision of a social worker in a social service agency, like a Family Service Centre. However, the Family Court and relevant agencies do not track the number of children who go through counselling during the entire process of divorce or separation of their parents.

To further safeguard the interests of children in divorcing families, the Family Court has, since 2008, implemented a programme called Children's Best Interests,

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Less Adversarial (CHILD) which basically means we are trying to avoid an adversarial hearing of disputes involving children and hoping to eliminate unnecessary affidavits. Divorcing parents who volunteer to be on this programme are guided by counsellors to focus on working out care arrangements, parental duties and responsibilities post-divorce, rather than focusing on the more acrimonious aspects of the process.

For Muslim divorces, while the Syariah Court does not direct children for counselling, it has, since January this year, been collaborating with As-Salaam PPIS Family Support Centre to run a voluntary programme focusing on young children in divorcing families. One of this programme's objectives is to identify potential at-risk children and to facilitate their access to national resources and also to raise awareness amongst families on importance of helping children cope with a parental divorce.

The current system thus accords flexibility to provide counselling for children where it is necessary. We should study carefully a proposal of making such counselling mandatory. Whilst counselling may be useful and may even be essential in some cases, it may not be necessary in all cases. Also, we should bear in mind that counselling children alone would not be helpful if the divorcing parents themselves are unable to manage the divorce and its aftermath in a calm and satisfactory manner. Any counselling would have to involve the parents, as we need to bear in mind that it is still both parents who are responsible ultimately for the children and for providing continued love and support.

Studies elsewhere have shown that divorces can have a very negative impact on children and in many different areas. We are open to conducting similar studies

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in Singapore and, in fact, we do welcome researchers to tap on the MCYS's Family Research Fund (FRF), which supports research on family trends and issues in Singapore with a view to informing policy-making.

Let me end by stressing that children will always be adversely affected by a divorce. There are no easy solutions. But I would urge any couples contemplating a divorce to place the welfare of their child or children as their paramount priority rather than to engage in a destructive battle of attrition.

* *Mdm Cynthia Phua (Aljunied): Speaker, Sir, two supplementary questions for Minister. I would like to thank the Minister for his detailed reply, especially for his care for the children in the disputes. But I would like to appeal again – one, is for the younger children to go for counselling. I would still like to appeal for mandatory counselling, although Minister has mentioned that it does not mean that mandatory counselling is helpful for the children. But I would like to appeal to the Minister to re-consider because these children, at a young age, would not be able to express their difficulties. So, with counselling, at least we can guide them to come out from their problems and how they face their separated parents.

Secondly, on housing. Housing is essential to the child. The child has already lost his family and by moving out, he will lose his classmates and neighbourhood friends. To the child, when he moves out of his familiar place, he will be very lonely. I would like the Minister to work more with the Housing and Development Board (HDB) and also at the same time, to work with the Law Society, to ask the lawyers who are taking care of such matrimonial cases to centre on the children's welfare.

Dr Vivian Balakrishnan: I thank Mdm Cynthia Phua for those two supple

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mentary questions. I have explained earlier that we were not keen on making counselling mandatory. We wanted to give the Court the flexibility to make an appropriate decision depending on the circumstances of each case, and you know the cases will be unique. But I recognise the Member's point that younger children are at greater risks, they may have difficulties expressing themselves and processing the trauma which they are undergoing; and the counselling would probably be more beneficial or more helpful in their cases. But let us leave this decision to (i) the parents involved, and (ii) give the Court the flexibility to make a decision which is appropriate, fair and effective.

The second point is just as important and I totally agree with the Member that having to move out of a house in the aftermath of a divorce is extremely disruptive for children. Having to change schools, make new friends, settle in to new arrangements and, almost always, in circumstances in which finances will be tighter than they were before divorce. All these illustrate why parents, for couples that are embarking on this terrible process of dissolving a marriage, need to really do so by putting the children's interests first and foremost. And perhaps even that should take precedence over seeking vengeance or retribution or attrition – all the negative aspects that accompany the process of divorce.

I explained earlier in my answer that HDB is already involved early on in the process, particularly for the low-income families because the HDB will work out all the different housing options which they are eligible for and this information from HDB then becomes useful for both the contending parties as well as the Court to bear in mind before a decision is made. And the objective here again is to minimise the disruption. Having said that, there will always be some and although we can minimise it, we cannot immunise

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or indemnify the children from all the problems that will be brought upon them by the parental choices. So, the Member has my assurance that the HDB, MCYS, the Family Service Centres, the counselling services of the Family Court and ultimately the Judges of the Family Court will bear all these points in mind as we make decisions and implement the system.

Mdm Halimah Yacob: I would like to put one question to Minister. Once a couple has reached the divorce stage, I think that is quite disastrous, the impact is already there on the family, especially the children. So my question to Minister is whether there are sufficient programmes now to assist couples who are facing marital difficulties to assist them in counselling because the information and feedback I get is sometimes couples are very confused. When they need help, they do not seem to feel that they have sufficient support and help for them in order to get that kind of assistance. So whether there are programmes and whether these programmes are effective and how do we make known to couples who need this help that these programmes are available?

* *Dr Vivian Balakrishnan: Like many social issues, this is complex and requires intervention at multiple levels. First, even before marriage occurs, we have to make sure that people go into it fully prepared. So, some of the measures which were taken in the preceding years include things like trying to discourage minor marriages because there is a disproportionate number of minor marriages that end up in divorce.

Secondly, to encourage people to go for marriage preparation courses, not State-run but run by social, religious or other community entities with which the couple has either a cultural or religious affinity with because all these help to

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build a larger safety net around the couple.

Third, MCYS, through the Family Services Centres, also tries to run marriage enrichment courses or courses which remind people not to take marriage for granted and that marriage is an ongoing commitment and requires constant work and nurture. But beyond that, I think we also need to bear in mind the fact that these are personal, private decisions and personal, private responsibilities. The State cannot mandate love, we cannot order people to stay in love and we also have to recognise that, frankly, for some couples, they may have reached a stage where a divorce may be the best of a series of bad choices which are available to them.

What we need to do then is to mitigate the damage, particularly, the downstream consequences and damage to the children. And that is Mdm Cynthia Phua's point on making sure that they have adequate access to counselling. The answer is MCYS will continue to do so, minimise disruption to housing, pay attention to schooling. This is something which we will have to do more of as we talk about working with young people at risk with peer group pressures, that they have access to mentors who will help these children develop, and develop positively, even in a situation where they may be bereft of at least some parental supervision.

Unfortunately, we do know that children of divorce couples are over-represented as far as juvenile delinquency and other negative social phenomena are concerned. So these are the facts, what I am laying out is the fact that we need a total approach to this. The parents, the couples themselves, the social religious community entities, the Family Courts and MCYS. There is no magic bullet and no

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quick solution to it. The other problem here, of course, unlike say, youth crime, is that we are working against an upward trend, as far as divorces are concerned, and also earlier divorces. I expect that in the future, there will be more children who, at an earlier stage of their lives, are exposed to the trauma of divorce.

So, I will not say that everything that we have done today is enough. We will have to do more simply because we are swimming upstream.